I haven't forgotten this blog, I have just had a post brewing that I wasn't sure how to write. I'm still not sure, but I'm going to give it a go.
In many of the lives of Saints, you read about their humility, and how they consider themselves to be the least of humankind- and are happy about that, even strive for it. I've been reading the City of God, the story of Mary, and she too considers herself the least among God's creatures.
We give honor to Mary as the Mother of God, calling her mankind's solitary boast; how can she be the least of creatures?
Jesus said to Sr. Josefa Mendez that He desired her to consider her nothingness, that He chose her because she was the least among mortals, the littlest one.
How on earth are we to strive for that kind of humility? Our human nature rallies against it, seeking always for our place among men, to be respected, admired and looked up to. We love compliments, and appreciate being told that we have done well. We strive to do our best and be appreciated for our efforts. How then, do we seek that littleness that is so great in the eyes of our Lord?
Can we always do our best, be competitive, try to make a difference in this world and still be humble?
Apparently we can, but it requires a great deal of grace. Think of Mother Theresa and the great difference she made in the world, while being the poorest and most humble of women.
There is a little glimmer of the light of understanding for me; that to achieve this we must die to ourselves and live for God. Yes, I know this has been said many times before, but it's a concept that is extremely hard to implement, especially for someone as willful as I. To use some imagery, it's like my life is a wide, tumultuous plane, and in the far distance is a little black speck; I must shed all the turmoil and become that little speck, and once I have done that, it will open unto the beginning of Light, and grow as I become more of what God desires me to be.
May I be granted the graces I need to achieve that goal.