Life is a journey; the choices you make now will determine your eternal destination.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My journey, continued

"Create a clean heart in me, O Lord!" was my Lenten reflection.
Since then, I have come to understand the way that God is working this transformation in me.
 First, in realizing the depths of the uncleanness within me; a good examination of conscience, and plenty of trips to the confessional. I see that the attachment to sin, which keeps me from a clean heart, is like a snarly tangled mess of wire or roots, that I must fight through and unravel to attain a clean heart.
Secondly, the depths to which attachment to sin takes me: I am created by God, just as all the earth is, but even the very dirt does not deliberately sin against its Creator, as we humans do. My free will and intellect which are gifts from God, are the source of my ability to sin, and so I need to cry out, "not my will, but Thine be done!" and "Jesus, I trust in You!" I finally understand the writings of the Saints who humble themselves and consider themselves the lowest and most unworthy of beings.
This is an excerpt from The Way Of Divine Love: (Jesus speaking to Sr. Josefa Menendez)

"Open your whole soul to Me, and if you are conscious of having nothing worthy of Me, say with humility and trust: Lord, Thou knowest both the fruits and flowers of my garden....come and teach me how I may grow, what will please Thee most.  To one who speaks in this way and has a genuine desire of showing love, I answer: Beloved, if such is your desire, suffer Me to grow them for you... let Me delve and dig in your garden... let Me clear the ground of those sinewy roots that obstruct it and which you have not the strength to pull up....Maybe I should ask you to give up certain tastes or sacrifice something in your character.... do some act of charity, of patience, or self-denial....or perhaps prove your love by zeal, obedience or abnegation; all such deeds help to fertilize the soil of your soul, which then will be able to produce the flowers and fruit I look for: your self conquest will obtain light for a sinner.... your ready patience under provocation will heal the wounds he inflicted on Me, will repair for his offence and expiate his fault... a reproof accepted patiently and even with joy will obtain for a sinner blinded by pride the grace to let light penetrate his soul and the courage to beg pardon humbly.
"All this I will do for you if you will give Me freedom. Then will blossoms grow quickly in your soul, and you will be the consolation of My heart."

3 comments:

kam said...

To understand our attachment to sin, that is one of the hardest obstacles of all. God bless you on your journey... k

Michele said...

oh shirley, i honestly don't know what i would do without confession! i get so ornery sometimes! then i feel like a dope afterwards! good grief michele! :D poor father h, he has to hear another confession about my temper! mom always used to tell me, "michele, control your temper! you are just like your dad! your ornery!". she was right! this post made me appreciate mom's sound advice even more! being ornery is unclean as it is stobbrness, and a form of anger. and anger is a sin. so, off to the confessional with me!
Praise God for priests!!! :D

paramedicgirl said...

Joe gave me the book, The Way of Divine Love.He never read the whole thing, and neither have I. I'm still working on the Sermons Of st. Alphonsus you lent me. It's been over a year, but I'm almost done!